Are Men Born Not Getting It?

Let’s continue our conversation from yesterday about men hating women – or actually, men hating themselves. It is kind of a bizarre topic, and at first glance, seems very far removed from the world of life insurance. But I think you will soon see how things are connected.

We talked in that previous article about a strange contradiction. On the one hand, men need to unite with women on all levels; yet at the same time, they do everything possible to push them away – to hurt them, to control them, to subjugate them. Very destructive.

We mentioned how people see themselves in other people, and how they treat that other person according to how well they like that reflection. That would make the degree of self-love – or self-hate, or some combination of the both – a man possesses, the determinant of how he treats his woman.

If the woman exhibits a quality that the man likes in himself, then that woman receives favorable treatment. Both parties win here. If, unfortunately, the woman exhibits a quality that the man does not like in himself, then that woman becomes the target of that man’s dissatisfaction with himself. Nobody will be happy with that situation.

So the woman is not just a mirror in which the man sees himself. She is also a “prompter” to induce the man to show different parts of himself at different times. Be strong! Be soft. Be tender. Be tough! Be a man. This is a very complicated job, and it is no wonder that the vast majority of the males in the specie have trouble with it.

This is certainly not to excuse their taking out their frustrations on their women. It is simply to acknowledge that as soon as a man engages with a woman, he is challenged to become a varied and complex person. He would like to remain a grunting primate, but his mate won’t let him. In ages gone by, he was the one who killed the sabertooth tiger, but he had to ask his cave-woman where in the cave to store the carcass. Be a hunter, but be considerate. These days, he is the one who buys the life insurance, but he has to ask his wife what benefit package would meet her needs. Be the buyer, but be considerate. Tough guy, soft guy. A primate with a heart.

To me, the intriguing part of this scenario is this question: when the woman asks the man to become more than a musclebound glandular simpleton, is she really asking him to develop qualities with which he was born, but which have remained latent until he engaged with the woman? Or, if she really asking him to fashion qualities that are essentially foreign to his nature, and which then must be taken on as additions to himself? In other words, when the wife asks the husband to be more considerate and buy an additional million dollars of life insurance, is she really asking him to do something that is against his nature?

Let’s talk about this. What do you have to say?