Trusting yourself
by Angie Carlson |
“Can I really trust myself to handle my money differently this time?”
This is a question I was asked near the end of a money conversation.
While we wrestled through that together, some wise words were shared.
“This is a lesson I should have learned a long time ago.”
“Should have NEVER used the credit cards to help me.”
“Credit score was a badge of honor.”
How society encourages handling money and what they were taught about debt worked for most of their adult life.
They were always current and had paid on time and in full for decades on:
Credit Cards
Loans
Mortgage
Then, they decided on an investment for their future – and financed it.
This makes sense. What they had done for decades had proven to be effective and without negative consequences.
For the first few years, the investment was working out.
Then, the investment showed cracks of not working out.
Now, there wasn’t a way to pay it back.
Or keep up with anything.
That investment in their future?
“The biggest regret of my life.”
Financially, they are drowning.
The bills that were on time? Now they are behind.
The confidence with money they thought they had? Shattered.
Their badge of honor? It’s no longer a credit score – that tanked too.
They sought help – refinancing their debt to lower money payments – that now results in several nasty calls a day.
Now, they are hesitant to talk to anyone because they never know if the person calling is someone they want to talk to.
They lost the ability to trust their financial decision making.
If what worked for decades no longer works… what will?
The regret and the shame have overtaken their life.
Plus they are trying to keep up appearances of being fine – saying yes to the things that are expected of them so no one knows what is really wrong.
Nights out
Kids have anything they want
Unnecessary home repairs to keep up with the neighbors
Their sleep?
Not quality at best and non-existent at worse.
Their relationship?
It’s better to be in a room alone than with their spouse – any fight is a source of stress that can’t be handled.
Then the major, life altering medical event happened.
Now they are required to be off work for months – when they can least afford it.
The façade of being OK is starting to crumble.
The phone calls from earlier help?
They aren’t stopping, and they aren’t sympathetic either.
They come when they are at doctor’s appointments, trying to rest, or in the car running the kids.
The embarrassment is starting to become public knowledge.
Time to double down on holding it all together.
This is why I help people develop a plan with their day-to-day finances.
Because this reality?
Not their ideal, shared financial future.
The last time you want financial stress, anxiety and worry is when you have a major medical diagnosis.
How different would the time off from work be if they didn’t have debt and an emergency fund?
What different decisions would be made for types of medical treatment?
How important is that credit score in the light of a life changing medical diagnosis?
Any one of us can be hit with an event like this at any time.
The time to prepare is today.
If you are thinking… there is no way I’ll ever be in this situation….
That’s EXACTLY what they thought too.
Breaking this cycle is possible.
So is avoiding it all together.
From the words of my current and past clients on breaking the financial patterns holding them back.
“Angie practices what she preaches and is a great inspiration for my husband and myself in getting a plan for our financial future. We love working with her!” – Joan
“It gives you the confidence, have someone giving you feedback… It is hard to measure your own growth – when someone else is watching, you see it. Money is one of my stressors and always had a negative attitude towards it -having someone get past that is very helpful. (I’ve) tried at least 3-4 times to get out of debt with no results.” – Becky
“It’s like when you play soccer on the field at P.E. with your friends and then you get on a field with a coach. The coach will help to refine your techniques and help improve your performance. The refining is 60-90% of the growth and you will be better off in the long run.” – Prince of Intentionality
The first step in trusting yourself to experience a transformation with your money is a conversation.
I help couples improve their communication around money so they can live out their ideal, shared future without financial stress. The first step on that journey is to introduce yourself to me here: https://calendly.com/carlsonfinancialcoaching/15min
Angie Carlson – Carlson Financial Coaching
Carlson Financial Coaching exists to help those going through life altering events – including a life ending diagnosis and/or the loss of a loved one – manage their finances during that transition.